bobtbuilder wrote:Hey folks,
Just wanted a smattering of opinions on a problem I have and what you guys & girls think is right and wrong:
My girlfriend (for want of a better word) is currently separated from her husband and the divorce is in progress. He knows that she is with me now and doesn't like it (understandable). To make life difficult for us, he only spends time with his two young kids for 24 hours each weekend (despite living 5 mins away). Most people who know him believe that this is specifically to stop her spending time with me the rest of the week and make it hard for her / us because she will have to stay home the rest of the week because of the kids.
To counter this, she has been asking me to come over in the evenings after the 2 boys have gone to sleep (she wants to wait another couple of months before introducing me to the boys, so that they have time to adjust to the current change without adding another person to the equation). This has worked fine for the last 2 months - until last night.
Last night, the husband was dropping a friend home in a neighbouring street and upon passing the family home, noticed my car in the vicinity. As a result he let himself in & all hell broke loose. I left as quickly as possible at my girlfriend's request as she didn't want the situation to get worse and wake the boys, etc.
Both her and her husband still own the house, and agreed that she would live there until next September to avoid an early-termination clause in the mortgage and to give the boys the stability of the family home while the divorce goes through.
So, my question is; is it OK for me to be spending time with my girlfriend at the family home or not?
Honest opinions appreciated.
Ms DDD arena - Child custody, fighting social services and she did some divorce work.
I may show her this and ask her to respond. However, the first thing the husband wants to think about is his visitation rights, if through the divorce proceedings he is demonstrating that he is only willing to see his boys for 24hrs each week, when it comes to making these arrangement legally (i.e. seeing the kids every other weekend) he isn't going to have much of a leg to stand on.
The judge could make it so the wife doesn't have to sell until the boys are 16 - 18 years old. I know of at least one case like that.
Then there is how much he has to contribute financially. Personally I think the husband needs reminding about all of this and how he plans to conduct himself in future.
Oh and there is nothing wrong with you tapping his wife in their marital home in their bed/sofa/kitchen counter. He agreed to move out and she is free to have whoever she wants there. - This is why I would never move out in the first place. (That decision may affect her own custody of the kids, but I'm sure you're a stand up guy with no criminal record or a risk to children or known to social services).