Football and "passionate" football supporters. What the hell is missing from your life that the outcome of a b!00dy game will affect your mood for the rest of the week? And why devote your life to supporting a team that's a completely different set of people every few years? It's like claiming that you only like films made by Warner or MGM. And don't bother with all that "passion and history" c@ck - that's just a large number of people who haven't figured out the previous point.
Golf, golfers, their anecdotes and their "practice swings". I'm with Mark Twain on this one, except he forgot to also call golfers a gated community of effete drunk drivers who manage to get offended by the sight of a pair of jeans on their beloved course. And God help us, are they bad at taking hints or what?
"Do you play golf?"
"Well, me and my mate were playing the other night and we'd just got to the ninth . . ."
"Is anyone going to get struck by lightning in this story? Because that's what it will take to get my interest"
And what, what in Satan's great and glorious name is the deal with practice golf swings in the office? Why? Can I claim that I play rugby, and start randomly tackling passers by?
Dogs. I don't like dogs. I won't suddenly like dogs if I meet your dog, it's a dog. I don't care if it's being friendly, you wouldn't accept that excuse if I nuzzled your crotch. I don't want to pat it, I think they're filthy animals. No I don't want to see a picture of your dog, it's a dog. That sign, one of twenty along this path that says they have to be kept on leads? That applies to your dog. "Close control" does not mean forty feet of extendable washing line. Don't hang plastic bags of their cr@p on trees or hide it under bushes, take it home with you. You've already shown that you don't aspire to human standards of hygiene by letting the dog in your house, the bags of cr@p are a logical next step. No, I have not got to agree that that's cute, it's a dog
Specialized Roubaix Elite 2015
On-One Scandal (fully rigid)