Recovering from a mood disorder

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AlanCwmb
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Postby AlanCwmb » Thu Apr 12, 2007 18:47 pm

I've been looking at this post for a while, wondering whether to reply or not...
<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Aux1</i>

I'm feeling kinda blue right now so I decided to tell my problem here, maybe someone had a similar experience, or someone will read it and see that recovery does come after a little while, although you might feel it never will.<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">
I know that feeling. You get into a state where you're just so far down that you can't remember a time when you ever felt happy and you can't conceive of a time when you ever will again.

Pretty much defines how I feel at the moment, after the death of my father several months back and the sudden and unexpected death of a long time good friend a couple of weeks ago. Oh, and add in the stress of a rotten job that alternates between leaving me with nothing to do and overloading me with about twice what I can cope with, all the while being hounded by management who are more concerned with the fact that you're seen to be doing the right thing than with what you're actually doing.

I know what's happening; I've been here before. Last time it took two and a half years on an SSRI (Paroxetine) to start to bring me round, but the best anti-depressant of all had 27 gears and fat tyres: learning to ride a bike, getting my Mount Vision and riding the thing every chance I got - upwards of 100 miles a week - made a far bigger difference in a far shorter time than anything else.
<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote">...I'll be happy if I showed someone who's suffering right now that you can be your old self again in just a little time, if you keep doing the right things. [:)]<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">
Yes...

Perhaps...

Got to do something before the grey void claims me again....

Hamishwmb
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Postby Hamishwmb » Fri Apr 13, 2007 15:39 pm

OK. I'm training as a psychiatrist... I've only just skimmed over this but it looks like people have got the right idea:

Excercise + trying to make an effort to do the things you enjoy with the people who'll support you + professional help where needed (either problem solving/ counselling/ medication/ medication & CBT/ medication/ECT and CBT depending on the severity). And avoid too much alcohol and/or drugs as they don't help.

Glad to hear you're all better. Try and keep things up as most people who suffer from depression have more than one recurrence during their lifetimes and keeping the positive stuff going can help protect against it/reduce the severity if it does occur.


BTW - there was a paper in the BMJ a couple of years ago that showed that swimming with dolphins had an additional benefit in helping mild-moderate depression when compared to just swimming in the same environment without the dolphins. Brilliant. Like we needed a study to tell us that.

--

Hamish

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Marky Mark.
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Postby Marky Mark. » Fri Apr 13, 2007 15:50 pm

The thought of captive dolphins is just depressing

http://www.flickr.com/photos/markymarkstuff/

I'll get some better ones soon! Photos that is, another bike will mean divorce.

mudface
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Postby mudface » Fri Apr 13, 2007 16:08 pm

well the counselling thing is all good and well, except my doctor told me that the NHS couldn't afford it for everyone, and gave me a packet of pills and told me to go away. i'd rather have had the counselling personally. my illness was dragged out for much longer than it needed to because the drugs put me on a plateau where i didn't really care about anything, but nothing got solved. it all came to a head a while later and i managed to sort myself out, but not before i'd got married and left the person who was a massive part of it.

they should not give you drugs if they don't offer counselling at the same time, because they will not cure anyone by themselves.

Hamishwmb
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Postby Hamishwmb » Fri Apr 13, 2007 16:11 pm

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Marky Mark</i>

The thought of captive dolphins is just depressing<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">

I agree that the thought of captive dolphins is depressing.

However... I forgot to mention that the study was carried out in Honduras with a treatment group of people swimming regularly with dolphins in the reef and the control group just swimming regularly in the reef without the dolphins. And the control group got to swim with the dolphins after the study was finished so that they got a bit of benefit as well and didn't become depressed when they found out that the others had been with the dolphins.

Does that make you feel better? [;)]

--

Hamish

<font color="red"><font size="1">Hamish's bike</font id="size1"></font id="red">
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Hamishwmb
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Postby Hamishwmb » Fri Apr 13, 2007 16:16 pm

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by mudface</i>

well the counselling thing is all good and well, except my doctor told me that the NHS couldn't afford it for everyone, and gave me a packet of pills and told me to go away. i'd rather have had the counselling personally. ...
they should not give you drugs if they don't offer counselling at the same time, because they will not cure anyone by themselves.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">

Oh. That's not good advice*. There are plenty of 'voluntary' organisations (often funded by the social work departments with paid staff as well as volunteers) which usually offer simple advice/listening to problems, more formal counselling, drop-in support as well as advice for solving problems. I would have been surprised if there wasn't something like that where you live and you should have been informed of that. I couldn't agree more, that medication alone will not solve things.

* I mean as given by your GP.

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Hamish

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mudface
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Postby mudface » Fri Apr 13, 2007 17:24 pm

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by Hamish</i>

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by mudface</i>

well the counselling thing is all good and well, except my doctor told me that the NHS couldn't afford it for everyone, and gave me a packet of pills and told me to go away. i'd rather have had the counselling personally. ...
they should not give you drugs if they don't offer counselling at the same time, because they will not cure anyone by themselves.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">

Oh. That's not good advice*. There are plenty of 'voluntary' organisations (often funded by the social work departments with paid staff as well as volunteers) which usually offer simple advice/listening to problems, more formal counselling, drop-in support as well as advice for solving problems. I would have been surprised if there wasn't something like that where you live and you should have been informed of that. I couldn't agree more, that medication alone will not solve things.

* I mean as given by your GP.

--


<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">

i'm not being funny, but when you're depressed, the last thing you have energy for is trying to find groups and organisations to talk to etc. i hardly left my house. my own family didn't know what was going on. the GP should ensure that you're getting proper help.

Hamishwmb
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Postby Hamishwmb » Fri Apr 13, 2007 17:45 pm

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by mudface</i>

i'm not being funny, but when you're depressed, the last thing you have energy for is trying to find groups and organisations to talk to etc. i hardly left my house. my own family didn't know what was going on. the GP should ensure that you're getting proper help.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">

I agree. I'm not actually taking issue with anything you've said. The GP probably had (or should have had) plenty of leaflets in their waiting room which could have given you the names and numbers of those groups so that you don't have to try and find them, especiallly when you don't have the energy or motivation. They should have at least given you that information.

I usually provide patients with the cards for a few local organisations if they don't already know of them, or point them to this local website: http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/

I think it's an excellent site and it covers a lot of problems with good self help booklets that you can print out. I'd hope that things like this will catch on in other areas. This, for example is the link to the page on depression: http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/mildmo ... ession.asp

I'd be interested to hear what others think of this site. Do you think, when you were depressed that it would be information overload or a useful resource?





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Hamish

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Aux1
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Postby Aux1 » Sun Apr 15, 2007 13:10 pm

Hey everybody!

I had no idea that so much people would reply to my topic... I'd like to reply and say so much to each of you and talk about our mutual problems and experiences, but I wish I could do it in person over a drink or something, and not here with letters only. So, I'll just try to say some general things...

I was quite busy the last week, worked, rode my bike thru city a lot, taking care of things all day (not stressful, but tiring), and I couldn't wait for weekend and some well earned rest. So, on saturday I spent the first half of the day resting, playing the Stalker game on the PC and I really enjoyed it, it's really great, moody and fun, sucks you right in. But around 3pm, some anxiety struck... Like a stone on top of my chest, made me feel bad, restless, uneasy, ruined the fun of playing the game, Xanax didn't help so I had to stop and I went out for a furious, fast ride to try to break the attack of all those bad mood hormones... I went out with my friends in the evening, had some drinks, felt almost OK, and went to sleep.

I woke up this morning, and I felt a little crappy and depressed again. I found it quite hard to get out of bed, but I forced myself. I decided to be useful and went out to clean my bike because that really had to be done. As soon as I started moving, I felt better immediately, down to quite content after I cleaned the bike and made it look and feel like new. I'm going to go for a ride now, meet with my best mate, and we're gonna sit by the lake, just enjoy the sun (which, I hear, is a real mood enhancer), watch babes on rollerblades passing by and stuff :)

If I started to play the game again right now, I feel the anxiety would return... Don't know why, I really like games, and I was able to enjoy one yesterday for quite a few hours, but the anxiety comes to me quite often when I play a game... but never when I ride my bike or enjoy good company. I guess there's a time for everything. And games are great but only when the weather is bad and you've got nothing else to do. And now, I've got great weather, great bike and a great friend waiting outside! [:)]

P.s. I'd like to say some smart things I thought about after starting this topic, but I'll do it later, time to go out now and enjoy. So good I can enjoy myself again... There were times when I thought I was a goner! [xx(] [8D]

-----------------
Bad English - ze most spoken lengwidz in ze werld!

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konauk
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Postby konauk » Tue Apr 17, 2007 14:05 pm

Just been searching through this forum and having just read the responses I felt like saying something.....

I had a death in the family at christmas 2005 then 3 months later another family member died...

It has been one of the hardest and darkest times I have experienced, weeks are up and down but you have to try and stay positive...

I know it sounds really cheesey but I find riding takes my mind off it all as you need to concentrate on the trail and your riding, its just helps you forget everything for those couple of hours....

But for other areas in my life, work and relationships, its not been so easy...

cookewmb
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Postby cookewmb » Thu Apr 19, 2007 21:50 pm

Just a bit too tired to reply to this one at moment, plus i'm up early in moring to go to work. But anyday soon i'll post you my story-so far the worst time of my life.
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jackfeeder
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Postby jackfeeder » Fri Apr 20, 2007 22:34 pm

Hi to you all, I didn't expect to see this topic on here.
I am experiencing similar feeling etc.
My father died of bowel/liver cancer a few years ago after being ill for a while. This was followed by the deaths of my Aunt and Uncle and then my Nan - all in 6 months.
This is when I started riding and it was a release for me - getting fit and being away from all the **** that was happening.
Then my wife got pregnant and was expecting our 2nd child. I was feeling truly happy for the first time in a long time. Enjoying my riding back and for to work and on weekends - things were great.
Unfortunately she suffered a miscarrige at 10 weeks and that's when things went downhill again. I agreed to stop riding whilst we tried again. That was almost 2 years ago. Our fertility consultant advised me to stay off the bike as well. So I scaled down the frequency of my riding but the longer we tried unsucessfully to get pregnant the less I rode until nothing. The last time I was on a bike ws last July. Now I spend way too much money on mags, just reading about biking, looking at the picures - trying to get some sort of fix I suppose. My wife thinks that along with everything else I feel I probably have an addictive personality as well - I do tend to get obsessed by things that grab my interest.
This didn't help my moods - all of a sudden I had no release.
Then last August the lab where I worked was going to suffer 50% job losses. This is when things got too much for me. I had a couple of months of just total despair, taking it out on my wife and daughter, I was a nightmare to put up with.
I went for some counselling which helped in the short term but never quite kept things/feelings away for too long.
Now I am in a situation where I have kept a job but different to what I am used to, but am feeling increasingly anxious about my work - I am completely pissed off with our trying for a 2nd child and I still can't ride my f###### bike.
Work is starting a bike2work scheme soon and I am probably going to buy a decent hardtail through it (trek6500) but faced with the prospect of sticking it straight in the shed until it can get used.
I have started swimming in the mornings a few times a week which I am enjoying, getting me fit again but it's not enough to make my happy, I can't seem to find whatever it is that I need to make my happy.
It's starting to do my head in again and the prospect of another summer without the bike/release is not a good one.
I realise that things can turn around when you least expect them - in 2 months I could have another child on the way, my job may settle down and be enjoyable and I may be on a nice new bike almost every day - but I can't see it at the moment.
I don't want to go to anymore counselling as it will be the same old thing again and I am not convinced that it will do any good this time. I don't want to see a doctor because medication is the last thing that I want to do.
Guilliano what is cognitive behavioral therapy- what does it involve and how does it help.
Sorry for my ramblings but after reading the other posts I felt that I wanted to explain my present situation so if anyone has any advice then thanks.
I know that there are a lot of people out there who are worse off than me but some days it doesn't feel like it.
Oh and thanks for listening/reading the above.

Hamishwmb
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Postby Hamishwmb » Sat Apr 21, 2007 07:35 am

<blockquote id="quote"><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica" id="quote">quote:<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"><i>Originally posted by jackfeeder</i>

I don't want to go to anymore counselling as it will be the same old thing again and I am not convinced that it will do any good this time. I don't want to see a doctor because medication is the last thing that I want to do.
Guilliano what is cognitive behavioral therapy- what does it involve and how does it help.
<hr height="1" noshade id="quote"></blockquote id="quote"></font id="quote">

Cognitive behavoural therapy (CBT) is a type of psychotherapy usually given by a psychotherapist/doctor/nurse/etc who has been trained to do so. Rather than simple counselling it looks at first of all identifying the automatic thoughts that drive your feelings, and then trying to challenge these thoughts for a different, more positive outcome.

You'll probably need to see your GP for referral. I wouldn't necessarily knock medication - CBT in conjunction with medication has been shown to be more effective than either alone. If you want a taster of what it's like then look at the second link I posted, earlier on in this thread. It contains a printable self help handbook which is based around a CBT approach.

Good luck. Hope you get well.

--

Hamish

<font color="red"><font size="1">Hamish's bike</font id="size1"></font id="red">
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guilliano
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Postby guilliano » Sat Apr 21, 2007 10:32 am

There also some good self help books which explain a lot about depression, anxiety and talk you through how CBT works. It's early days but I think it will help (having a positive outlook towards it is a step towards recovery in itself). I'm also taking citalopram which has helped calm my mood swings and aid my concentration. The best advice I can offer though is simply get as much exercise as you can, swimming, running, weights, bike (if allowed). My girlfriend has been really supportive and is getting into biking herself, along with her 7 year old daughter and we all feel better for it as it's something we can all do together

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