When lifelong cyclist Roger was diagnosed first with prostate cancer and then primary breast cancer in 2023, it wasn’t his first experience of the disease. His wife, Ruth, had sadly passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2017.
Due to his genetics, Roger had been having regular PSA tests, so when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer he was confident it had been caught “nice and early”. Unfortunately, it was particularly aggressive, which meant he needed a prostatectomy.
Worse still, following a routine PET CT scan he was also diagnosed with primary breast cancer. He was, he recalls, “totally lost for words – absolutely shellshocked. I didn’t even know men could get breast cancer”.
Here, Roger shares his experience of learning how to live with cancer. He reveals how cycling has played a critical role in boosting both his physical and mental health, and how Macmillan Cancer Support provided the guidance and reassurance he needed to find his way out of a dark period in his life.
Roger’s story: life before and after diagnosis
Roger grew up in rural Shropshire where he used to find great adventures in the landscape with his childhood friends. Roger and Ruth returned to Shropshire when they retired and lived in a farmhouse which they had restored, surrounded by the 3,000 trees they planted together before Ruth became ill.
During his working life, Roger travelled the world as a forensic accountant – a career that took him and Ruth across the globe to countries including the Cayman Islands, Kuwait, Albania, the Czech Republic, Russia and Kazakhstan – before returning home to retire in Shropshire and build a self-sustainable life with Ruth in the idyllic Shropshire countryside.
Ruth’s diagnosis in 2017 was, naturally, devastating. With only months to live, she made him promise he would continue doing triathlons and taking cycling holidays with his sister-in-law – adventures that had already taken them to Jordan, Cambodia and Thailand.
When Roger’s own cancer diagnoses came in 2023, he put a planned cycling trip to Vietnam on hold. As soon as he had recovered from his prostatectomy, he had a mastectomy and was prescribed Tamoxifen. Roger recalls the side effects of Tamoxifen as being “horrendous".
“I’m normally very active,” he says. “I like going outside, I like sports – but the Tamoxifen meant I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. I couldn’t make decisions – not even which pair of socks to wear!”
Having already experienced the practical and emotional support provided by Macmillan nurses following his wife’s diagnosis, Roger turned again to the charity – this time seeking help to cope with the side effects of his medication and the dark place he found himself.
Support when it was needed most
“I turned to Macmillan for help,” he recalls, “and they organised counselling and put me in touch with the Men’s Virtual Meet-Up (VMU).”
The Men’s VMU is a support group that meets monthly on Zoom and, as Roger explains: “The only criterion for membership is that you have to be a man with breast cancer. It was just so good to hear from other people with similar experiences, to see how they coped and what they were doing.”
Over a third of Macmillan’s services, including those accessed by Roger, are funded by gifts in wills, and it was this support that proved invaluable to him.
“Without the help from Macmillan, and without the introduction to the VMU, I don’t know where I would be.” he says.”I just wasn’t coping. I’m very grateful for that. I got my life back together, and it allowed me to continue doing the things I love.”
Roger’s story: cycling to heal
Emerging from a darker period in his life with the help of counselling, the guidance of Macmillan and the support of the Men’s VMU, Roger found he could return to sport – cycling and spending time outdoors.
“Cycling,” he says, “has always been part of my life.” Getting back on his bike, he feels the same sense of freedom and adventure he experienced as a child. After his diagnosis, cycling became even more important, assuming a critical role in providing relief – physically, mentally and emotionally.
“Getting out for a run or a ride helps clear the mind,” he says. “You can almost feel it lifting. You have this thing pushing down on you and it gradually lifts – and it’s so great when it finally clears.”
“It’s about routine and rhythm,” he adds. “You can focus on one thing and all the other thoughts in your head disappear… you just get lost in either the mechanics of what you’re doing or in the beauty of where you are.”
Roger rides regularly in the secluded beauty of Shropshire, and in Portugal where he has a second home. Reaching the peak of Mount Nebo in Jordan stands out as a particularly memorable cycling moment.
“At the top, you see the ‘promised land’ stretching out beneath you,” he says. “You are surrounded by desert, but there’s a valley below where the River Jordan flows. You can see Jericho, fertile fields and an oasis rich with greenery.”
Japan is where he’d love to cycle next, along with Mount Fóia in Portugal – a 900m climb he has walked, but hopes to summit soon on two wheels.
Why leave a gift in your will to Macmillan?
After his wife’s diagnosis, Roger explains they simply wouldn’t have managed without the support of their Macmillan nurse. “She gave us practical support,” he says. “She also brought humour to the situation. She was wonderful. We couldn’t have coped without her.”
Later, the isolation Roger felt following his diagnosis of breast cancer was eased by the expertise and guidance of Macmillan. Now, he is keen to share his story to help raise awareness of breast cancer in men.
“If this helps a man become aware that he might get breast cancer or if it helps a man who has breast cancer get the support he needs, that’s great,” he says. “Macmillan helps everybody, whatever their cancer – and it depends on our support. If people can afford to leave a gift in their will, it’s better for everyone.”
There are 3.5 million people in the UK who need Macmillan’s support, and this number is growing. By leaving a gift in your will, you can help ensure Macmillan reaches everyone who needs help, whatever it takes.
“If someone is considering leaving a gift in their will to Macmillan, that’s a wonderful thing,” says Roger. “I personally benefited from Macmillan, but there are millions of other people who wouldn’t have had the help and support they need without that gift.”
Macmillan’s support helped Roger rediscover his love of cycling. A gift in your will makes it possible for Macmillan Cancer Support to do whatever it takes to help more people with cancer get the best care the UK has to offer, whoever and wherever they are. To find out more about how to leave a gift in your will to Macmillan Cancer Support, order your free Gifts in Wills guide.
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