Tacky holiday cycling jerseys

For when the holiday spirit consumes every part of your life

Why limit your tasteless sweaters and ugly tops this holiday season to only parties and goofy-shirt Tuesday at the office? Take the garish attire out on the bike with these festive jerseys. Luckily most of them aren't racer cut. 

Whether or not they're pleasing to the eye is a uniquely personal judgement. One thing is for sure though, wearing any of these on a ride will certainly be a conversation starter, for better or worse.  

Aero Tech Ugly Sweater Christmas Bike jersey

Your long-lost search for an elf cycling uniform is close to an end
Your long-lost search for an elf cycling uniform is close to an end

Wow, Aero Tech Designs didn’t hold back with this. Its name is spot-on as well: the 'Ugly Sweater Christmas Bike jersey' is what it is. What other jersey offers little cotton ball pom poms?

  • Price: £57 / $75 / AU$97

Castelli Hanukkah Sweater jersey

Light up the ride with the nine candles of the Menorah with Castelli's Hanukkah Sweater jersey
Light up the ride with the nine candles of the Menorah with Castelli's Hanukkah Sweater jersey

Online gear giant Backcountry.com has partnered with Castelli to offer this contradiction in jersey form. The Hanukkah Sweater jersey looks knitted but is Castelli's thermal polyester. Its styling says 'ugly sweater' but its tight racer form fit is a far cry from a baggy sweater.  

Check out the realistic detailing. It's like your grandma spent a couple of months on this.

Castelli gets in the Hanukkah spirit with this faux-knitted jersey
Castelli gets in the Hanukkah spirit with this faux-knitted jersey

  • Price: £98 / $129.95 / AU$170

BMX Bikes Ugly Christmas Sweater Knitted tee

BMX riders don't wear jerseys but they can still show off some goofy holiday vibes
BMX riders don't wear jerseys but they can still show off some goofy holiday vibes

Even BMX street riders aren't immune to holiday clowning. The name sums it up perfectly, it's ugly, it appears knitted, and for better or worse, it will remind most folks of Christmas.  

Five colors are available and, as a bonus, everyone can get in on the joke as it's available in youth, women's and men's in a ton of sizes. 

  • Price: T-shirts retail for £15 / $19.99 / AU$26

Hill Killer Not So Ugly Christmas Sweater 

Hill Killer's Not So Ugly Christmas Sweater jersey is a bit hopeful with its naming
Hill Killer's Not So Ugly Christmas Sweater jersey is a bit hopeful with its naming

The Hill Killer jersey might look knitted, but it's actually crafted from quick-drying performance fabric. The usual cycling details are there with a full-length zipper and three rear pockets. The color name for this jersey is regrettably 'Sugar Cookie'. 

True to the season, it's offered in Small–3X-Large sizing. 

  • Price: £49 / $64.99 / AU$85

Ironman Ugly Sweater jersey

Ironman calls this jersey what it is, Ugly Sweater
Ironman calls this jersey what it is, Ugly Sweater

Despite its self-depreciating name, the Ironman jersey could actually pass the 10-foot rule, meaning it's not over-the-top eye-searing like most of the jerseys on this list. 

It boasts all the standard cycling-top features with three rear pockets, hem grippers, flat-lock stitching, and a full-length zipper, and there are designs for men and women riders.

  • Price: £68 / $89.95 / AU$117

Scody Kangaroo jersey

Coming out of Australia, hence the kangaroos, is this jersey from Scody
Coming out of Australia, hence the kangaroos, is this jersey from Scody

Surprise of surprises! This holiday-themed jersey comes from Australia. Was it the kangaroos that gave it away? 

It features fast drying polyester material, rear pockets, and a UPF sun protection of 50. Which makes sense since Christmas is in summer down under. There are also rash guards with the same gaudy design for the surfers among us and sizes for children too.

Every sale helps fund cancer research and services.

  • Price: £64 / $84 / AU$109.95

Giancarlo Bianchi's jolly reindeer holiday jersey

This scene wasn't in any of the Christmas carols...
This scene wasn't in any of the Christmas carols...

If you're a traditionalist for whom kangaroos seem too far afield, then perhaps this reindeer-themed piece would be a more conservative choice. Oh, wait! What are those reindeer doing?!

Bike racer Giancarlo Bianchi designed this jersey, which is produced by Verge. It comes in men's and women's cuts in a thermal material.

  • Price: £57 / $77 / AU$101

Buy from Verge Sport - use the passsword "snowflake" to enter Bianchi's store 

Russell Eich

Tech Writer, US
Russell fell head over heels in love with bikes in the '90s, and has been involved in the bike industry ever since. Between wrenching in bike shops, guiding professionally, and writing about bikes, Russell has honed an appreciation for what works, gained knowledge of what doesn't, and can barely contain his enthusiasm for what comes next. His two-wheeled passion continues in the Rocky Mountains high above Boulder, Colorado.
  • Discipline: Mountain, road, cyclocross
  • Preferred Terrain: High altitudes, forgotten singletracks, bike parks, roads without cars
  • Current Bikes: Custom Meriwether steel hardtail, Specialized S-Works Enduro 29, Kona Jake the Snake, Trek 69er, and a bunch more
  • Dream Bike: Yeti SB5c, Intense Tracer 275C, Black Cat custom road
  • Beer of Choice: Gin + Tonic
  • Location: Rollinsville, CO, USA

Related Articles

Back to top