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James Martin: How not to apologise

John Stevenson Wednesday, Sep 16, 2009 11.10am

TV chef James Martin has apologised for his remarks about cyclists in the Mail on Sunday. Or rather, in the typical style of a fevered ego caught being a complete twat in public, he hasn’t.

“May I take this opportunity to apologise for any offence I have caused,” he writes on his website, eventually ending with: “I am sincerely sorry for any upset.”

He hasn’t apologised for sounding his horn unnecessarily, the kind of breach of the Highway Code for which anti-cyclist polemicists like Martin love to pillory cyclists.

He’s not said sorry for running a bunch of cyclists off the road, probably because that admission might make him susceptible to the attentions of PC Plod for admitting reckless driving.

All he’s done, in fact, is to flail desperately to try to salvage a bit of his reputation. Well, not so much flail as fail, despite claiming he “does not condone any form of reckless driving”. Problem is, James, it’s hard to claim you don’t condone something you’ve already admitted to.

The arrogance of this faux apology is breathtaking. Most of us learnt at infant school that when you do something wrong, you apologise for what you’ve done.

At James Martin’s school, it looks like the kids who picked on James were not forced to apologise for being bullying little ratbags but for making him cry, and that sad lesson has stayed with him for life.

If James Martin is genuinely sorry for behaving like a cock while driving that Tesla, then that’s what he needs to apologise for, not for damaging his own precious public image – and pissing off Tesla, who have said they won’t be using his review in their publicity materials – by writing about it.

User Comments

There are 34 comments on this post

Showing 1 - 30 of 34 comments

  • if he was really sincere in his apology he should do a charity bike ride such as the London/Brighton I d love to see the fat tw*t struggling up Ditchling Beacon. Knowing Martin though he spend all year and all his money looking for a vintage Colnago or Pinarello to do it on which would suffer mechanical failure before he left Clapham Common and he'd spend the rest of the day crying beside the road!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 'He’s not said sorry for running a bunch of cyclists off the road' Do you think that incident ever happened? Or was it a figment of the author's imagination? Even if it did not occur, Martin has been rightly harangued for inciting violent and agrressive behaviour. Then again if it did not occur we could add fantasist to the ever growing list of his shortcomings.

  • The guys a complete arrogant tosser with no brian cells. Can see why he's a (crap) TV chef and not a brain surgeon.

    A pathetic apology. Yes if he did apologise for running those guys off the road it would be an admission of guilt.

    He (and that plonker Clarkson) need to be sacked from the BBC. And Matthwe Parris likewise for his comments last year.

  • @DaleCannon - He either has to apologise, or admit he made it up. He's done neither.

    It's a shame the great Bill Hicks - from whom I nicked the phrase 'fevered egos' - is no longer with us, because I'm sure he'd have plenty to say on TV chefs.

  • IMHO Clarkson is saying things more in jest than actually doing them! I happen enjoy Top Gear and drive a car and driven lorries but think that Clarkson's comments are not so arrogant as that twat James Martin.

  • I wonder if the idiot can even ride a bike?

    Maybe he could rid of some of his chins...

  • A real life Alan Partridge.

  • I assume, as part of his apology, he will be donating any money he made from this 'article' to a road safety charity?

  • He was able to (pretend?) to sneak up because the car's silent - it's an electric car. That behaviour is going to become much more common as more morons buy "green" cars. Watch as they use the "green"-ness of their cars to justify driving them all the time.

    Glad to see Bikeradar being upfront about their views on this.

    Cheers, al.

  • He needs to issue a sincere apology for what he did to those cyclists - if they ever existed. Simply apologising for the way that the article was received is pathetic.

    If enough people view the story on the BBC website it will make the 'Most Popular' list and get seen by a lot more people. Pass it on:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8258247.stm

  • He should go and visit Aspire this charity helps those with spinal injury most of which happened after a road accident many of which are cyclists knocked off their bikes. I'd like to see him think it funny that he is promoting cycle accidents to those that have lost the use of their legs. Real funny Mr Martin HA HA

  • I find your response to the article almost as childish as the original story. I'm not sure it's possible to take your comments regarding the apology, so called or otherwise, seriously when you feel the need to reduce yourself to using profanity.

    As for the apology itself, yes it's poor, yes it's vague, but in no way, shape or form is it 'breathtaking in it's arrogance'. James Martin being arrogant would be himignoring the issue or telling all cyclists to f off. But a vague and weak apology....we have MPs who can give anyone lessons in this. In fact, if you want to really know how not to apologise, here it is......................." ", that's right silence.

    Returning to the original subject of my response though, John Stevenson's article is as poorly considered James Martin's. Both in different ways, but equally as poor.

  • http://bianchista.blogspot.com/2009/09/open-letter-to-james-martin.html

    my open letter to him. Hope he reads it...

  • @fedrat.

    Arrogance. As in "Arrogant enough to believe that a feeble faux-apology would help restore his reputation." There was no other reason for that apology, because if he was actually sorry, he'd have apologised for what he did and wrote, and not for the second-order offence of upsetting people.

  • What upsets me is that these second class low life types self called celebrities end up profiting from the bad advertising it's been generating. I do think that the event did not took place, and he invented the history. Therefore he should be in fact sacked from the columnist position he holds.

  • Why does the excuse that a statement such as this can be excused because it was a joke? I am sure that James Martin will now be invited onto Top Gear and Clarkson and him can have lots of laddish fun making jokes which are derogatory references to sandal wearers and herbal tea drinkers ie people who do not share their arrogant macho and immature views.

  • I have occasionally watched and enjoyed Saturday Kitchen but the food is often ridiculously rich - if he's been eating this sort of thing and not getting any excercise then it's no wonder he is getting fatter and fatter. He'll probably end up having a heart attack. A really talented chef could produce good-tasting food without stuffing it full of butter and cream and sugar.

    Unfortunately when offering his views on things not food-related he's just another jumped-up Clarkeson-like bufoon with offensive opinions who'd be better-off keeping his gob shut.

    I agree his half-hearted apology is an insult.

    Get a bike James and try riding it for more than 10 minutes ! That would wipe the smug grin off your chubby face.

  • I believe that Keith Martin is only interested in saving his own celebrity skin on TV and that the furore on his comments made him gulp that he could have been shown up as the menace of the road! If Keith Martin had blasted me with his horn as he overtook me I would have had no compunction on not taking his registration number and reported him to the police for reckless driving and causing alarm on the road. Yes, I'm a CTC member, and a Volunteer Ranger- obviously, Celebrity Chef's are a different species when they get paid for their buffoonery on the road!

    !

  • I obviously agree that the original article was inconsidered (ok, stupid), and the apology half-hearted. Both reminiscent of a certain llama-loving tory.

    However, I think it would be better if we didn't get quite so offensive and personal in our remarks on this and other cycling sites. Let's stick to having a go at what has been done or written, not at the man.

    I still reckon Matthew Parris is a decent chap, who just made a big mistake due to a childish prejudice and lack of thought. The personal attacks and 'holier than thou' comments of some cyclists on the newspaper website in that situation did the cycling community no favour.

    I don't know enough about Keith Martin to take a view on him as an individual, but I imagine most of the posters don't either.

  • I should have added that, IMO, if indeed he did drive aggressively and dangerously on purpose, and has not yet seen better of it, a measured verbal offensive, preferably from someone in a position of authority, is merited

  • Why don't some of these idiots like James Martin vent out at something worthwhile, whenever I'm driving it's never cyclists, motorcyclists or horse riders that cause me to turn a bit nasty (and that's putting it very mildly).

    It's other stupid car drivers who have no regard for other peoples lives whether they're on their mobile, pissing about with the sat nav or probably in James Martins case sitting there grunting and groaning like Jabba the Hut in a half coma with lobster thermidor dribbling down over his double chins. To be honest I'm surprised the electric car had the juice to even catch up with the cyclists with old lardy pants sitting in it.

  • I'd like to hear from the cyclists in question. Surely the furore over this would have come to their attention and they would want to put their side of the story. I suspect they are a figment of his imagination designed to impress the lads.

  • As i have been the victim of f*^*^*^g idots in cars trying to knock me off my bike ~

    1. Group of lads in a hackney cab tried to HAPPY SLAP ME into some bushes.

    2. Three lads went by me in a car and clobberd me over the head with rolled up news papers.

    The latter being reported to the police and cautioned.

    May be we should get LARDY BOY on a bike, on a private road and do the same to him to see how he likes it,

    F*^*^*G IDIOT

    Used to watch his programs on telly NOT ANY MORE

    VERY VERY SORRY for the language but i am furious after reading the article.

  • I'm finding more interest in trying to count how many chins he has.

  • And... Why is a man famed for chopping carrots (and having a skin colour not dissimilar) testing an electric car? I get the feeling he doesn't have the first clue what electricity is, although I would gladly show him ;)

  • i actually like James Martin....

    only joking! what an arrogant s**t and what sort of an apology is that on his website?

    next time you're out on your bike, and you happen to see Mr Martin, perhaps a jolly two-fingered salute would be appropriate?

  • Whatever one's views of the sincerity (or otherwise) of James Martin's apology for writing this article, what still concerns me is that the Daily Mail hasn't apologised for printing it.

    Instead they have simply amended the article, replacing the offensive material with some new stuff:

    www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-1211917/JAMES-MARTIN-The-Tesla-Roadster-electric-supercar-thats-fast-Ferrari.html

    Can I suggest writing to or emailing Paul Dacre (editor of the Daily Mail) calling on him to print an apology from the Daily Mail for allowing this filthy to appear in print?

    Address:

    Northcliffe House

    2 Derry Street

    London W8 5TT

    Email:

    editorial@dailymailonline.co.uk

    Best wishes

    Roger Geffen

  • These type of actions where a driver deliberately does something to cause a cyclist to have an accident should be treated as any assault would by the local police authorities. This is equally as bad as if you delivered the blow directly. How can you accept this apology. If the person wanted to be sincere about his apology, he needs to acknowledge that this is an act of violence plain and simple.

  • Stevenson, Well put, as ever. Bill Hicks would be proud you picked up his phrase and used it so appropriately. The fact it was used in such close proximity to twat - which James Martin surely is - would only make him happier.

    matt o

  • jaysus guys, keep your hair on. his article was just a tongue in cheek anti cyclist humorous rant, he prob made it all up. ala Clarkson. its a free country. he's said outright sorry, dunno what else he's realistically sposed to. top himself in shame ? would that make you happy? most of these comments are just James Martin bashing, not showing us cyclists in a good light at all. so for any non-cyclists reading this, then we're not all a set of over the top moaning tw*ats, and most of us do have a sense of humour.

    nb. bet i cycle more than you do... :) in case your wondering. ;-)

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