Christmas-lovers rejoice! There’s no need to limit your favourite festive attire to parties and the office ‘Christmas Jumper Day’ when you can take it out on a bike ride.
Feast your eyes upon this host of garish holiday-themed cycling jerseys and start planning those tacky winter training outfits.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so don’t succumb to the judgement. At worst, wearing one of these on a ride will at least get the conversation flowing.
Elf Cycling Jersey, CycleGarb
This elf-themed jersey is from US store CycleGarb CycleGarb
Let’s get started with this eye-wateringly vibrant elf-themed jersey from US store CycleGarb.
You definitely won’t need to worry about visibility on the roads, and the jersey features a hidden zip (so as not to ruin the magic) and three back pockets for actual functionality. Because you don’t just want to look ridiculous while you’re riding, you want to be able to carry things too, right?
The jersey is available in men’s and women’s cuts.
- £62 / $79.95 / €70 / AU$113
Festive Long Sleeve Cycling Shirt, Knight Sportswear
Ride into Christmas in style with the Festive Long Sleeve Cycling Shirt from Knight Sportswear Knight Sportswear
If it’s even remotely possible for Christmas attire to be tasteful, then this is probably about as close as we’re going to get.
Don’t be fooled by the clever knit-effect, this jersey is 100 percent polyester, and features mesh side panels and three pockets at the back.
This is the type of Christmas cycling jersey your granny would be proud of.
- £39.95 / $52 / €45 / AU$73
Men’s Short Sleeve Christmas Cycling Jerseys, Weimostar
Upping the tacky taste stakes is Weimostar on Amazon Courtesy
Looking for variety? Maybe you’ve got a group of buddies who all want to get in on the action?
Weimostar on Amazon is offering up a selection of Christmas tackiness to brighten up your winter rides. From a ‘slightly ugly fake festive waistcoat’ to ‘hideously ugly Santa with bundle of gifts’, there’s something to suit everyone’s taste (or lack thereof).
- £9.99–£12.88 / $16.99–$17.99
Aero Tech Peloton Long Sleeve Holiday Jersey, Aero Tech Designs
Reindeer bikes pull Santa’s sleigh in this festive jersey Aero Tech
Aero Tech’s holiday offering depicts a beautiful scene that calls to mind The Night Before Christmas, even down to the reindeer-bikes pulling Santa’s sleigh…
Constructed from 100 percent polyester microfleece, it aims for warmth and moisture-wicking at the same time, and claims to be ‘performance enhanced’. We’re not quite sure what this means, but why should you sacrifice watts in the winter?
- £62 / $79.99 / €70 / AU$113
Men’s Short Sleeve Christmas Jumper Cycling Jersey, RedBear (UK only)
RedBear’s offering only comes in a short-sleeve option, so you may want to combine it with a base-layer RedBear
You lucky Brits, you get exclusive access to two Christmas jerseys that will make you stand out from the crowd — interpret that how you will.
RedBear’s offering is another example of knit-look polyester that actually looks pretty good. It only comes in a short-sleeve option though, so you may want to combine it with a base-layer or arm warmers, or else really establish yourself as ‘the one who takes things too far.’
Scimitar Christmas Santa Long Sleeve Cycling Jersey, Cycle Republic (UK only)
No beard required with this design Cycle Republic
Our final example of tacky wondrousness comes from UK brand Cycle Republic.
It will be sure to make you popular with your friends, but only if you turn up for a ride armed with presents, otherwise you may find they drop you within the first few miles.
It comes with three back pockets and one zipped pocket, so really there’s no excuse.