There’s little not to love about a cyclist: they’re endowed with exceptionally toned buttocks, they’re likely to have the most lusciously smooth legs on either side of the gender divide and, if this study is to be believed, their impressive athletic capabilities will extend far beyond their on-bike exploits.
Here, we bring you the best Valentine’s day gift ideas for cyclists in anticipation of this week’s heartfelt festivities.
So break out your most sensually scented embrocation and scroll on to see what we think are the 10 key gift picks for this year’s Valentine’s day.
The best Valentine’s day gifts for cyclists
Scimitar Love Hearts Jersey – £40
Show your love with this delightful Love Hearts jersey. Scimitar
Who could forget the sweaty tension of giving your playground crush a Love Hearts sweet?
Had you been too forward (‘Marry Me’) or did you come across as cool and calculated (‘Smooch me behind the bike sheds’)?
Now, thanks to the wonder-canvas that is a cycling jersey, you can relive your primary school romances with this Love Hearts themed jersey from Scimitar.
Pandora bicycle dangle charm – £55
Oh my goodness, the wheels actually move! Pandora
Including this crystal-encrusted silver dangle charm from Pandora in this guide is pretty obvious but oh my goodness the wheels actually turn. This is absolutely delightful and we can imagine the cyclist in your life fiddling with this (while dreaming of you, of course) for hours at a time.
Assos Chamois Cream –
We’re really dwelling on the Ass is Assos here. Immediate Media
Toned or not, no cyclist’s butt is going to be appealing out of Lycra if it hasn’t had the appropriate pre-ride application of chamois cream.
Guarantee the cyclist in your life has a smooth (and minty!) peach with the gift of Assos’ Chamois Cream this Valentine’s day.
Pink Odi Longneck grips – £11.95
Everyone knows that pink = passion. Amazon
Everybody knows that a sultry shade of pink equals romance, love and passion, so why not express your heavy-feels for the special one in your life by replacing their grips – which are ribbed for your hand’s pleasure – with one of these saucy salmon numbers from ODI.
Janapar: Love on a Bike – £4.49
Janapar, tears almost guaranteed. Amazon
Without giving too much away, we can assure you that Tom Allen’s story of setting off on a worldwide cycle tour where he eventually finds love will tug at the heartstrings of even the hardiest cyclist.
Essax Shark Fin saddle – €74.30
No, that is not what the fin is for. Essax
Come on now, there’s no need to be so childish.
Icebreaker Anatomica Zone Merino boxers — £40 £28
Is there anything sexier than sports underwear? Wiggle
There’s obviously nothing sexier than sports underwear, but even the most adoring of lovers will likely turn their nose up at the sight of your worn out, smelly-synthetics.
Why not refresh your smalls wardrobe with these soft and odour-resistant Merino wool boxers from Icebreaker this Valentine’s day? Trust us, your significant other will thank you.
A tandem – £whatever you can afford
A tandem is the best way to really get to know your partner. Jack Luke / Immediate Media
Known affectionately by some as a ‘divorce maker’, the humble bicycle made for two is the perfect way to test your budding relationship this Valentine’s day.
Icy glares and harsh exchanges by the top of the first hill? Perhaps it’s either time to work on your riding form or reconsider your relationship.
eBay is, by far, the best place to shop for a tandem because there are often great deals to be had on second-hand models.
However, we warn again – purchase at your own peril because, whatever direction your relationship is going in, a tandem will get you there quicker.
Topeak Babyseat II –
Maybe you’ll need to invest in a kid’s seat (or two?!) after this Valentine’s day. Wiggle
If you get really, uh, lucky this Valentine’s day, you may have to consider investing in some kiddy portaging kit.
Topeak makes some of the best children’s seats on the market and we like the look of this rack-mounted model.
Muc-Off bike care essentials kit – £26.99 £23.35
Even if you’re alone this Valentine’s, at least your bike will be clean. Muc Off
If you’re going to be alone this Valentine’s, you can always give your one true love – your bike – the care and attention it deserves.
So light up a WD40 scented candle, put on some sexy cycling music and get down to some passionate scrubbing and lubing – no pictures, please.